Happy birthday, Manong Jimmy

You could say I have a pretty big "Filipino" tribe. I would say there are about 20 first-degree cousins on my maternal side. Growing up, there was always someone to play or chat with. I remember R. and I used to melt cheese and eat it off a plate. Then, eat it for fun. The girls and I also used to play this board game where you could fantasize about your dream wedding. We also sang Christmas carols and songs in Cebuano in front of our aunties and uncles at the parties. In return, they would give us nickels and dimes.

The age range is pretty broad, with the "youngest" cousin now reaching the tender age of 23. James was one of my older cousins, so we grew up calling him "Manong." That's the Filipino honorific term to show respect to an older male family member.

My older cousin, James, would have turned 50 today. He passed away last summer, leaving behind two beautiful kids, his mum, his sister, his brother-in-law and many loved ones. He had been enjoying a day at the beach with his family when his heart just stopped working while he was out on the water. He was left unnamed in the headlines, which were splashed all over the news.

I remember at one of my birthday parties in Toronto, I had a festive lechon to mark the occasion. I think I was turning five years old. Manong Jimmy, being the comedian, pretended to rest his sunglasses on top of the roasted pig lying on the dining table. He also took one of my prized stuffed toys - "Piggy Joe," a peach-toned pig puppet with a light-blue bandana around his neck. Manong Jimmy pretended to let Piggy Joe steer the wheel of his car. At the time, I thought this was the funniest thing ever. He was always good for providing a laugh.

As the years passed, Manong Jimmy had his own family. And boy, did he love those kiddos! I've looked at sweet pictures of him just resting on the couch with his babies. To think, they're now in grade school. The older one is even in junior high school now, sporting some bling in his ear. (I have since dubbed him "Blingy Bling." He doesn't mind. I must be his nerdiest auntie ever.)

Despite the age difference, he always made a point to have a quick chat. When I moved back from Japan last year, he asked me about my time working and living abroad. He even asked me to think of a kanji character that would work as a meaningful tattoo, because he was a fan of getting inked. I declined to make a recommendation, because my Japanese is pretty basic. The only kanji I could tell him would be basic stuff like the days of the week! I did not want to tell him something I assumed meant "strength," but in fact it would read something ridiculous like "catfish."

At his service this past summer, a string of people had some memories to share with everyone. I think my favourite story was shared by his sister, my Manang Joy. She reminisced about living in Bali during their formative years. As usual, Manong Jimmy had shown some naughty behaviour and was punished by his parents. That time, his bicycle strapped to the ceiling in the bathroom so that he couldn't use it. But lo and behold, he disappeared for a bit that day. They checked the bathroom and looked up. The bike had vanished. Manong Jimmy was able to go out gallivanting.

The extended family congregated at my uncle's house in Mississauga after the funeral. It was nice to just decompress and hang out with the people who know you best - your family. I know that I'm not perfect, and I've definitely stepped on some of my relatives' toes in recent times. And yes, we've all had our family dramas. But when it comes down to it, we really need to man up and relish any moments we do have together. You never know how time flies by.

Happy birthday, Manong Jimmy. Greatly missed, never forgotten.

It's been more than a year since I've moved back. All of the people, places and experiences that happened in Japan are still a part of me. I've still got my previous posts up and running on my old blog. I still enjoy writing, so I figured I might as well start a new blog. It seems like a handful of my twentysomething friends still do a fine job at maintaining their social media channels, which has inspired me to try the same! 

Unfortunately, I am still stuck in a strange liminal space. I know, I know. No one has their life completely figured out. When I quit my job as an ALT in Japan, I knew it was the right thing to do. It was time to pass the baton to someone else. Still, I find myself missing those kiddos a lot even to this day. I still get really excited when an e-mail sometimes fills my old "dearmsgemma" inbox, a greeting card arrives from Japan or I get a funny "Tweet" from my old students. They often ask "Ms. Gemma, what are you doing now?" Well, to be honest... I don't know!

Dave Tait, my second-year university reporting prof, taught me the importance of staying focused on your story. He brought forth the notion that "People are doing something for a reason." Indeed, he was reminding students that a focus statement needs to be at the crux of every story. This guiding principle will keep your story moving and compelling. 

And so, in 2011-12 I will be the first person to admit that I've been quite unproductive. I didn't have a "focus statement" for my own story - my life. Like most twentysomethings, I felt pretty dazed and confused. On top of that, I felt some strange emotions after leaving Fukushima just a few months after the big Tohoku earthquake. And in the rush of things, some of my finances got messed up. I tried to do the "right" thing to come to a solution, but lots of red tape and language barriers are not helping me smooth things over. So, I left it at that. I got a short-term contract last winter at the embassy, sifting through applications for the next wave of English teachers. And then I spent the following months volunteering here and there, and doings lots of thinking. Lots of thinking. I reckon I'm a girl (young lady?) of many talents. I can write. I can sing karaoke (sometimes without the lyrics scrolling on the tv.) I can maintain mediocre conversations with Siri in English, French, Spanish and Japanese. I can compile a newsletter for JETAA. I can cut bangs - not well. I have a lot of random things going on. Time to use those "talents" to land me a job that at least pays the bills. (Oh, the bills that I have racked up. I belong on that budgeting show, Princess. You know, the one where the lady chops up a girl's credit and debit cards? Oy vey!) 

Time to get my thinking cap on for real, and make things happen. The following blog will include lots of ramblings. I expect my future posts are best pegged as writting by a twentysomething Canadian girl who was once an Assistant Language Teacher in Motomiya, and is now trying to figure out what's next!